LEARNING, GROWING AND BECOMING

     LEARNING, GROWING 

AND BECOMING

Every spirit born into this world comes from God, the Father of our spirit.  We are his offspring and we knew perfection in our heavenly home.   For nine months we grow in the warmth of our mother’s womb, receiving on a cellular level the traits of our progenitors, both good and bad.  We spend the next part of our life on earth learning and growing and trying to discover who we are.  We all enter the world of adults with layers of incorrect perceptions we gathered along the way..  Cleansing the inner vessels is uncovering each layer of incorrect perceptions and fixed beliefs we gained through our perilous journey through childhood.  We discard layer upon layer, until we discover our perfection, our real self.  We awaken to the truth of our perfection and our innocence.    

 

Tragedies, trials and betrayals are wake up calls that hasten the healing process. Learning the truth requires letting go of layers of often misguided beliefs about our self we learned along the way.  Grieving is often part of the learning and growing process.  We go through stages of grief until we finally let go.  First shock, the moment of truth invades your consciousness and you realize that life is just a continuation of the loneliness and pain of childhood.  Then denial, you won’t allow yourself to see the truth, blocking awareness of the now emerging reality, as you try to turn the negatives into positives.  Betrayal and other trials are often too painful to face.    The pain comes in waves as the emerging reality invades the conscious mind.  Then the bargaining sets in, you begin to negotiate your behavior without getting to the real root of the problem.  You begin to compromise your own self, trying to fix things and control the behavior of others to keep them from bringing more pain into your life.  Then comes despair,   hopelessness sets in, tears flow and flow, washing out the original pain.  Where is safety?  Will I ever be safe?  What did I do to deserve this?  Wasn’t I good enough?  Can I ever trust again?   As you cry to the Lord and surrender all, the answers begin coming and finally you arrive at acceptance.  You cannot change anything, it just is, so let go of the past and the future and be still.

   

There are no mistakes, only learning.  The learning goes on and on.  This poem says it so well.                                            
                 “Comes the Dawn”         
            by Veronica A. Shoffstall

  

After a while you learn the subtle difference

Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

You learn that love doesn’t mean leaning

And company doesn’t mean security. 

You begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts

And presents aren’t promises,

You begin to accept your defeats

With the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child.

You learn to build all your roads on today

Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,

And futures have a way of falling down in mid flight,

That even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,

Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers,

And you learn that you really can endure,

That you really are strong, and you really do have worth,

And you learn and learn, and with every good-bye you learn. 

Love isn’t leaning, love isn’t a cushion for others to fall on.  I cannot make anyone else feel better and no one else can make me feel better..  If I build my self worth on what others think of me, I am building on a foundation of sand.  People are not basically cruel, they are thoughtless, tactless and frustrated.  People don’t do things to us, they just do things,   so don’t take anything personally and don’t make assumptions.   Just accept what is.   I can learn to view others behavior in a different light, forgive them, help them, have empathy for them, and realize they don’t mean to damage or hurt me.   I can only change myself,  then I can find peace and acceptance.  I can decorate my own soul and plant my own garden.   

Knowing how to let go, and when to let go is the beginning of wisdom.  There comes a time when we must let go of every attachment, every person, every thing, every place.  You must say good bye when it is time, and with every good bye you learn.  “Today is not always, and yesterday is not today.” 

The marriage relationship is the perfect learning laboratory.  “When you focus your energy on healing your partner and drive your energy away from yourself toward your partner, deep level spiritual and psychological healing begins to take place.  When you meet the needs of your partner you will recapture part of yourself.”  Harville Hendricks said in “Getting the Love You Want.” He also said,

“A conscious marriage is a state of mind, based on acceptance, and a  willingness to grow and change, having  the courage to face one’s own fear, and a conscious decision to act lovingly.  It is entirely different from the infatuation of romantic love but the feelings are just as joyful and intense.”

 When you are in fear, you are not in love.  True love is letting go of all fear.  There is no safety in this world, only in God and in the world to come.  If you think you can overcome fear by being more loving  and more of what the other person wants, then you have just compromised yourself right down the toilet. If you give yourself away, then you won’t know who you are.   When you truly know who you are and have a real life for yourself, you will radiate this and take care of yourself.  If there is nothing going on inside of you then you will attract another empty person.                     

By revisiting our childhood feelings, understanding, releasing and replacing them with love and truth, we come home. By letting go of everything, and changing the way we see things, we awaken to a greater awareness, a deeper knowing.   Working on being complete and whole as an individual is crucial to having healthy relationships.  Relationships are the school for spiritual development, we all teach and learn from each other.   We are all learning about love, how to love perfectly and purely.  Learning to love our own self is crucial to all loving relationships; when you love yourself, you send a message to the world and the world will treat you with love. 

As I work to see myself in a new light, in the light of love, I will come to believe that I am beautiful, whole and balanced, and I am love.  As I nourish my own soul with the light and love of the Son of God, I will reflect that love to others, even as a crystal reflects the light of the sun.  The Savior is waiting for us to return, to come home,  so He can heal us with the cleansing power of his Atonement.  In a moment of grace we can believe and accept the atonement for our own healing.

 The world will become new to us as begin to see and hear,  and feel with our awakened heart.  When we’re ready we’ll emerge the beautiful butterfly, from the cocoon of sleep we’ve been in for so long.  We’ll be free to fly and reach our full potential and our perfection.  We’ll no longer see our self as the worm, or the loser, separate and lonely.  We’ll see our real and perfect self and rise up to our glory, at one with God!   

            

                        DANCE WITH JOY!